Saturday, October 22, 2011
Social Differences
Its hard being in college full of partiers when you are a straight edge 18 year old. Living in dorms and watching everyone stumble in drunk or high is a little difficult. And Im not going to lie...I feel a little left out at times. Its weird hanging out with your friends who tell drunken stories all the time and you have no clue what is going on. Don't get me wrong, my two best friends up here go out and I have no problem with the fact that they do like to party. Im always the person who is always willing to pick them up if they ever need a ride because I love my friends to death and never want anything bad to happen to them. But after countless nights of being one of probably 20 sober people at 12:20 AM, if not one of 20 people back in their room at this time, I began to think to myself and ponder the fact that I am choosing to not do these things because of my own personal values. And it does make me wonder if I will lose my friends or drift from them because I am not going out to parties with them. I want to be able to have the same amount of fun with them that they have with everyone else when they're drinking. And to me this is one of the thousands mysteries of life. I guess it is something that we will just have to wait and see, but I hope it all works out. I love diversity and love when I am able to be friends with a group of friends that aren't exactly like me. But I hope people feel the same about me.
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Aw claire, I totally understand you!
ReplyDeleteYou know what, I totally went through that rebellious stage! I have two best friends that I have known since I was 2, and both of them have drifted and I would have to sit and listen to their stories and get jelly as it sounded like they had an amazing time.
When I moved back home to Australia - I decided to be like them and I got lured into a group of church friends who would get drunk every weekend.
Honestly, i have some good memories and I confessed my love to the boy I loved one night and now we've been dating for nearly a year and he is out on his mission and I am waiting so patiently for him!
But it only lasted a few months before my parents found out and they wanted to kill me. They were so disappointed and all the time I did it, I knew it was wrong. I had a long think about it and it wasn't worth it, but it was something I needed to go through MYSELF and now I don't do it and have no desire to.
ALL those church friends aren't my friends anymore - we have nothing to do with each other at all and it is for the best. They brought the worst out in me and in the end they were only my friends because they too felt bad about it but the more mormons they got drunk with the less bad they felt.
I'm not saying GO DO IT! I would warn against it, but I'm not going to sit here at be a hypocrite because as much as i regret it, the boy I want to spend of my life with has forgiven me and now he teases me about trying to fit in with the cool kids :P
It's so difficult, because I would justify it by saying OH but I'm doing it with other mormons but I'm slowly finding good church friends now who support me and I can't take away what I've done but it's made me learn that it really isn't worth it.
If I lived near you we could have movie nights and be dorks together, I'm here if you need to talk lovely!
xox
Thanks girl!! Yeahh, I totally went through that. But im not a member...yet! So I didnt grow up with the same morals and values. Even during my relationship with my elder I still drank, but one day something changed. And I have yet to drink for over a year now. But after he introduced me to the church I changed my entire life around. But I think that everyone needs to have their own conversion. Even those who have been raised in the church. There comes a time when each person has to figure out their own individual beliefs and not what their parents beliefs are.
ReplyDeleteBut I wish you lived near...I would LOVE to dork out and watch movies! im always here for you too....any time of the day or night :)